It hasn’t died – he did. It hasn’t left because I have found another – it’s still there, ever present. My love for Russ hasn’t left me, nor will it. It’s a song in my heart, an ache in moments of missing, an ever changing and evolving, living and breathing feeling of him. Still there, still present in my soul.
It hasn’t left me. I haven’t replaced him. I have moved forwards. He isn’t forgotten, nor just a memory of love that once was for that love is eternal. He is always in there, always.
My love for him is mine and mine alone. I can love him as I wish, as I need for as long as I need. He’s in my mind every day, every hour, sometimes every minute. My love calls him, checks in with him, needs him even though he’s not here.
I found myself justifying my love for him, because I was lucky enough to find happiness again. But I don’t have to. I was a fool for that man, he was in my every waking thought and my heart, he’s still in there. Only now, he shares that space. Two great men occupy my heart – lucky them (haha) and more appropriately, lucky me.
That love I have for him – it’s MY love. I don’t need to explain it, I just need to know it.