I saw this meme right after Russ died. At the time, I called bullshit. Fucking bullshit. How will I ever be ok again? The pieces aren’t even close to being the same shape they used to be before the obliteration, you can’t just stick those pieces back together. Fucking pieces. 🙄

Then, one day it happened. Someone starting squeezing me tight enough that my pieces were sticking back together. Little by little, I started feeling whole again.

This morning, while the sun was still sleeping, I stood on the front verandah waiting for boyfriend to come out and leave for work. He’s heading out bush with his mates to ride (dirt bikes) for the weekend so his ute was all packed. I went in for a goodbye kiss and got a massive hug from him. It’s almost like I felt the last piece of the puzzle slot into place, right in that moment. This meme flashed in my mind. Had he literally just hugged me so tight all my broken pieces had stuck back together? I’m not sure what was so different about this mornings hug but it felt like the safest most love filled hug I’ve received in a very long time and that’s saying something because the boyfriend is an awesome hugger.

I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel whole. 😘