If you had asked me 18mths ago if I was a decisive person, I’d have told you ABSOLUTELY, without hesitation.
But the last 13mths have seen me a little lost in that regard.
How did I make decisions before without questioning myself? How do I make life decisions without him?
I find myself now making decisions and wondering constantly whether it was the right one. Why is this so hard?
I was always the decision maker. I’d float an idea, run it by Husband and then ultimately, I’d just do whatever I wanted because Husband was easy going and just went with whatever was going. Of course, if he were against an idea, I was happy to cater for that but more often than not he’d just agree because he didn’t care so long as we were working towards something together.
I have big decisions on the horizon. We’ll be moving, but where? Do we stay here for another year until youngest has finished primary and then move or do we move back to the area I really want to live in now and put her in another school to finish up?
I need my person to nod and agree with me or tell me why it’s not a good idea.
I don’t enjoy this one sided argument with myself. I don’t enjoy having to have this all fall on me. I need my person to bounce ideas off.
I could ask friends but as all good friends do, they say, “Your life, whatever you want to do”, not “Have you considered x, y and z, babe? What about this? We could do this too.”
Friends can’t make decisions for you, they’re not living your life. But your partner can, because they are.
All these tiny little things you miss about having your person. Another person who is living the exact same life as you, who also has a say, is a sounding board and someone who has your best interest at heart also.