Dear Husband,

You told me once the moment you knew you were truly in love with me. You said you’d thought that you were but it was this one moment in time that stuck in your head as the defining moment that you consciously thought, “Fuck, I’m so in love with this girl!”

I remembered that moment when you told me. I remember being there and I remember knowing I loved you too. That wasn’t my defining moment but I remember your moment.

You told me the moment you knew, it changed everything for you. You wanted to live after being so sure you didn’t for so long.
You spent your whole adult life in and out of severe depression. You never feared that time where you would no longer exist.

You told me that realising you loved me both made you happier than you’d ever remember being in a relationship and so fucking terrified all wrapped up into one. What was this happiness you were experiencing? What was this will to live thing you were feeling?

I’m so glad you shared that with me. You said to me, “Honestly, I looked over at you laughing about something and thought to myself, she’s it, she’s the one. And you still are. You’re MY Mazypants.”

My moment of realisation is a little more fuzzy. I don’t think there was just one moment for me, I can recall about 5 times in the beginning where I had “OMG, this guy…”

I wonder if anyone else is as lucky as I am to have had that shared with them?

I love you, times a gazillion and blue.

Your MazyPants. xxx