August last year, thats when my gf and I booked a trip overseas. I was very careful to book it bang smack in a time when I knew it would be hard to be in my regular life, right between my first wedding anniversary and the first anniversary of Husband’s passing.
I knew I need a distraction, something to look forward to.
I had a count down on my phone and I looked at it almost everyday. I needed to get away, desperately. Sometimes running away is whats required.
Then 3 weeks out from departure, I get a text from friend telling me she “just can’t” come. Still cranky about how it came about, but whatever, I’m always up for a challenge.
Very quickly I came to the conclusion that I still needed this holiday whether she was coming or not. I do pretty much everything alone now anyway, this is a fact. Why would this be any different?
I lost a bunch of money on things I’d already paid for and re-booked a whole new holiday, for just me. Cheapie overseas dash just turned into an expensive venture… God damn it, should’ve gone to Europe. *sigh*
As it turns out, I was given the opportunity to extend my trip and figured WHY NOT, I was now no longer governed by someone else’s strict time frame. I could do as I pleased.
So, I’m walking alone. Again. But this time, I can’t wait.
So many people in my life have travelled alone and loved it. If they can do it, so can I. I am independent, capable and savvy. I’ve got this. I think.
There is a very real sense of loneliness that creeps in sometimes but that’s pretty standard these days. If Husband were here, I’d be travelling with him, not anyone else but he isn’t so off I go.
I make friends easily so that won’t be hard. I understand the currency, the people and the culture.
The place excites me and I’m really looking forward to the opportunity of getting up and figuring out what’s next. I have a list of to dos but nothing is booked. I know what I want to do but I’ll see how I go when I get there.
I feel brave. I am ready.