People can’t be replaced. We are all completely unique creatures with traits that only we possess. Someone might be similar to someone else but there is no one who is exactly the same as you are.
How do I move forward knowing I’ll never have him again? Him with his wit, him with his charisma, him with his kindness, humour, passion, intelligence, gentleness, spark. I’ve never met a guy who would be silly with me like Husband. I’ve never met a guy who would play with me like Husband. I’ve never met a guy with such strong morals either. There is no one else on this planet who matches all his good traits. And if there is, I’ve never met them and likely never will.
He was, one of the very best kind.
I was thinking about this last night, I wouldn’t WANT to replace him because he was so uniquely him but some of the things that were so important to me about him are so rare that I doubt I’ll find that again. This is devastating. All the things I valued so highly, the things I finally had in my life and now I don’t.
He could make me laugh, like really laugh. We shared a wicked sense of humour.
He could size me up without cutting me down. I’m feisty as fuck and he knew how to let me feist to my hearts content.
He was loyal and forgiving. He didn’t hold a grudge and wasn’t overly sensitive.
I look around sometimes I wonder how I’ll be with someone else. Is Mr Chapter 2 going to have a sparkle in his eye? Will he go out of his way to piss me off and make me laugh in the one motion? Will he be thoughtful and cute sometimes? Will he be self sufficient enough that he doesn’t ‘need’ me but still make me feel needed? Will he be adventurous? Will he love nothing more than a spontaneous decision? Will he be loved by everyone who comes in contact with him? Will he work AND play hard? Will he be passionate, lively, fun and charming (in the good way)?
See what I’m missing out on here? See what I no longer have?