I have had so much time to think about these things, not too much time, but so much time. Who can put a limit on how much time is needed to mull things over, really?
Those last words were a struggle for him. He made sure to get out to me to tell me. I was told later on by the forensic counsellor that normally when someone has happen to them what happened to Husband, they wouldn’t be able to do what he did.
He walked 15m just to say this to me, so that I knew.
The words ring in my ears, I can hear them clearly. I knew anyway, but it was the last sentence he ever uttered and that sentence was only for me.
I often wonder about other people’s last sentences. What did they say? What was the last thing their loved ones heard that person say? Are people comforted by someone’s last words? Are they glad they had that chance?
When someone knows that their time is up, they may say all the things they always wanted to say. They may have time to make sure people knew how they felt.
When someone dies unexpectedly, this isn’t always the case. It may just be a normal day. They may have been too busy to kiss their loved ones goodbye or tell them how much they meant to them. Because they weren’t intending to die.
What will my last sentence be? Will I know that this is the last time I’m seeing these people? Will I get a chance to tell them I care? Will they know I love them?
I am more conscious of the possibility of there being no tomorrow now. I love people more. I try to tell them more. I try to show them more. Because there might not be a tomorrow. For me or for them. Life and death happens, whether we’re prepared for it or not. So why not just make sure people know how important you are to them now, just to make sure it’s not something you’ll regret not doing later? If they come home safe, then all that has happened is they’ve spent their time that day knowing that you care.
I can hear his last words in my head all the time and I’ll carry them with me forever.
“Babe… I love you.”
I love you too. xxx