Do you believe in visitation dreams?
Before I lost Husband, I had been a point of contact for deceased family members. I’d dream of them telling me to tell someone something or show me where they were now with messages of reassurance that they were ok.
I got to look into their new lives, on the other side. Their new roles, their new homes, their healed ailments. I knew when I had these dreams, that it was them. Without a doubt in my mind, they’d come and show me something and I knew in my heart that everything was ok for them.
Which brings me to losing Husband. I just assumed he’d come and see me straight away. I mean, my nan had visited me the night she passed, so where was Husband?
I had to wait a while but it eventually happened. In that waiting period, I had got a message from a medium who had said he’s trying to get through to me but my grief was so thick that he couldn’t get through. Which is where I started to work through that grief in order to lift it somewhat. Purely so I could hear from him. THAT was what motivated me to begin deliberate and mindful healing. Whatever it takes, huh?
I’ve since been lucky enough to make that connection while I’m sleeping loads of times. All but one time, it has completely shattered me and I am teary for days thinking about it and the fact that that is all I have now. I don’t ever want it to stop though, it’s worth the tears just to see him, hear him, smell him or feel him close by. The one time so far that I haven’t opened my eyes and sobbed was last night, which is why I’m writing this post.
I fell asleep on the lounge last night and was woken by him. He rubbed my back, gave me kisses all over my face and said, “Baby, you’ve fallen asleep on the couch again. Up you get and hop into bed.”, just like he would have had he been alive. For the first time, his visit didn’t provoke heavy gut aching emotion. I just felt loved and cared for. I woke up completely, did my before bed routine and went to bed.
This morning, I’m ok. I’m not emotional, I feel lucky that I’m open enough to receive that time with him. I’m not broken, I feel ready for my day knowing he was with me last night. I feel like I’ve turned a corner, like I’ve made it to another stage. What stage that is, I don’t know but if the last chunk of emotional time has anything to do with this feeling of peacefulness, then I’m grateful for it.
To my husband, if he’s reading – You can come and tell me to go to bed any old time you like.